I'm Mandy Sciacchitano
Wellness Coach, diet freedom champion, Speaker, Yogi, and Mindfulness Junkie
My mission is to help women build a healthy relationship with themselves and their bodies to create FREEDOM from the diet cycle, from avoiding mirrors, and from that little voice inside their heads that screams that they aren't good enough.
For most of my life, I suffered with disordered eating and negative self-image
From a very early age I was acutely aware of the fact that I was bigger than everyone else. I can’t point to any one event that lead me to believe that I was any less valuable because my body was different, but the discomfort in my own skin began as early as 4th grade, when I matured early and never quite outgrew my baby fat.
Throughout middle school I was shy and reserved, embarrassed because I wasn’t athletic like the other kids on my soccer teams and in my gymnastics classes.
“All the sporty kids are popular, so there must be something wrong with me,” I thought.
Those feelings never went away. I was deep in the throes of depression and anxiety throughout high school and college, and I considered myself to be unattractive and undesireable.
I threw myself into my studies to distract myself and compensate, but I believed every time that I walked into a room that people wouldn't like me or be interested in talking to me or being my friend. I bottled those emotions until they would EXPLODE out of me on occasion in a fit of rage, fear, or self-loathing.
WE CONTRIBUTE NOTHING TO THE WORLD BY HIDING OUR GREATNESS AND SHRINKING FROM THE THINGS THAT SET OUR SOULS ON FIRE.
I moved to the Dominican Republic after college because I thought I could escape the pressure to look a certain way, but a series of traumas led me deeper into the depths of using food as a drug.
For my entire adolescent and adult life I was trapped in a cycle of dieting and restricting myself, and then punishing myself for “falling off the wagon.” I was trapped in my own mind; constantly assuming that people wouldn’t like me or that they were critiquing my choices and the way that I looked.
I thought that if I could just lose 15 pounds, tighten my tummy and slim my thighs, then I would be happy and confident and I would attract the hottest partner and the best opportunities into my life.
I wasn’t allowing myself to fully enjoy my life and be present with friends and family because I was constantly obsessing about what other people thought about me, each calorie that had passed my lips, or about whether what I was wearing made me look fat.
I would find myself stressed out and dealing with it by tip-toeing into the kitchen at night to devour the leftover pizza or polish off a half gallon of ice cream, and then next day I would punish myself with hours in the gym. It was an endless cycle of stress, deprivation, shame, and obsession.
The crazy thing is that I actually took pride on how few calories I could eat in a day or how many hours I could spend on a treadmill.
I was missing out on so much fun and connection with other people because I was so stuck inside my own head. Not to mention the fact that my spiritual and emotional needs were woefully unfulfilled.
I had no idea who I really was and what I really stood for underneath all of that.
until one day I got sick and tired of my own b.s.
On New Year’s Eve 2014 I was meeting my boyfriend’s extended family for the first time in a brand new little red jumpsuit that I had purchased for the occasion. I had a meltdown before we even arrived to the party because I saw a photo taken before we left that I thought made me look pregnant, and just a few hours later I found myself locked in the bathroom at the party sobbing because I had burst a button on my jumpsuit and was indecently exposed.
I knew that this was no way to live. There had to be a better way.
So on January 1, 2015 I got to work.
I took a big leap, saying yes to a nutrition system that showed me what healthy felt like and how to nourish my body, and then empowered me to detoxify the rest of my life.
I walked away from my job, my apartment, and the things that were chaining me down in my life and walked into what I knew lit me up.
The subsequent process of self-discovery saw me hiring a coach and really digging into who I am, what lights me up, and what makes me special.
I learned to get to know myself, face my past and my beliefs about who I am and what is possible for me… and in doing so I learned to respect myself and my body and treat myself the way that I would treat my closest friends.
It hasn't been a seamless process. And making a big leap definitely isn't for everyone (nor do I recommend it for everyone), but it was the perfect path for me. I learned to trust the things that made me feel ALIVE and FREE, and I went to work building an unwavering belief in myself and healing my relationship to myself and my body.
Over the past year I have learned to...
- Listen to my body and give it what it needs in terms of rest, nutrition, exercise, and connection.
- Break down and rebuild my entire relationship with food.
- Identify and eradicate emotional eating habits.
- Integrate a meditation practice into my daily life.
- Be my own caretaker and give myself what I need to feel emotionally full and well.
- Create routines in my day that make me feel whole and complete.
- Exercise for fun!
- Give myself permission to do things differently, from eating to business decisions to exercise and everything in between.
- Really and truly love myself and my body for everything that it is, rather than point out what it isn’t.
And most importantly...
Enjoy food again!
It is now my passion and my mission to help other women do the same.