This is Why You Self-Sabotage

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Do you know what the difference is between a glass ceiling and an upper limit?

They both hold us down.

But glass ceilings are created and enforced by outside forces, while upper limits are created and enforced by ourselves.

The term “upper limit problem” was coined by Gay Hendricks, and he discusses it in one of the most influential books I have read, The Big Leap.

Basically, we all have an internal barometer for how much success, wealth, happiness and love we will allow ourselves to experience. That setting was created based on the beliefs we hold about what we are worthy of. When we begin to exceed that setting in any one area (like getting a big pay raise, losing weight or falling blissfully in love), we unconsciously self-sabotage to get back to our comfort settings.

Have you ever felt like every time you start to gain a little momentum and make a little progress toward your goals, you either self-sabotage or something happens like a trip or an illness or an accident that throws you off track and boots you back to square 1?

That’s an upper limit.

I used to think that something was seriously wrong with me. I started to notice that every time I made progress toward feeling good in my body, I would go through a period of binge eating or something would happen that would get me out of my routines and my body would yo-yo back to the place that I was not necessarily “comfortable” with, but “used to.” Then I would beat myself up for “ruining” all the progress I made.

What I didn’t realize was that I had been trying to create change on a surface level, externalizing it by focusing on changing my ACTIONS, when the real change that needed to occur was internal and focused on my BELIEFS.

Because self-sabotage occurs when our actions and our beliefs do not align.

It’s that simple. The ego part of us is trying to keep us safe, so if we are taking an action to try to create something new, the ego sees it as unsafe and literally throws out a lasso to reel you back into what is normal.

That’s self-sabotage. And it’s not your fault.

Once you are able to identify what your upper limits are and what the beliefs are that are holding you to that ceiling, you can consciously change the beliefs and raise the bar on the success and happiness that you allow yourself to feel, the body you allow yourself to have and the lifestyle that you are able to maintain.

You know the term “you can’t have it all?”

That’s bullshit; born from people with upper limit problems.

What I know to be true: It is absolutely amazing to see your capacity for joy, love, wealth, and health increase in unison… and to feel worthy of it and able to maintain it effortlessly.

Effortlessly… doesn’t that feel so freeing?

If you are ready to stop self-sabotage in its tracks and get to work shifting those beliefs, schedule a discovery call to see if coaching is right for you.